Andre Leon Talley
Wow! Look how chic we are! And look how big my boobs are. Here's why we'd be good together:
- We could chat fashion endlessly
- We could drink tea in his salon (ah, the dream!)
- The man can accessorise (will you look at that LV scarf. Is it a scarf, is it a beach towel? Who cares!?)
- He'd have access to the. Vogue. Fashion. Closet.
- He'd have contacts plenty able to dress me in designer goodies forever.
- He's very well spoken and seems nicely mannered. And that's nice.
And here's why it could all go pear shaped:
- I'd be taking on Anna Wintour and Tyra to get in there. Er, wish me luck.
- He's almost certainly gay.
- Maybe he'd just be too involved in fashion to have time for me.
Man, I love Chuck Bass. Watch him brood. And no doubt I'm cooking up some sexy scheme in my mental head:
- He's hOTTTTTT
- If you like that sorta thing, he's loaded. It's not a big tug for me though.
- Though it would mean he could keep me in designer shoes.
- He sounds foxy
- He's hot
- You could do, er, business in the back of a very expensive limo that a hen party has never been in.
- He's, ah, hot. Have I used that already?
Man Chuck Bass would be a pain in the ass:
- He'd drive you demented with his womanising ways (well take a look at my face if you don't believe me!)
- There's every chance he'd be vainer than you (mind you I appear to be wearing a face mask in public so perhaps that wouldn't be hard)
- Hmm - there's the tiny issue that he isn't actually real.
Ian Waite - Lord of the Dancefloor! What a man. Watch those hips, listen to those quips! See us jive or salsa or whatever. Here's why he's golden:
- The dude can dance. Man, the dude can dance. What a hero.
- I KNOW he'd be on for a nice cuppa and a gossip.
- He wouldn't ever question whether something was too glittery, sequined or leopardy.
- He could teach me the moves!
- He has winning wit.
- He pulls AWESOME dance faces. Just awesome.
Then there's the tarnish:
- The only problem I can think of is that there's every chance he'd run off with ALT leaving me drinking tea on my own. Ah well, as long as I was in the salon in my designer shoes it might not be so bad.
And there you have it people. Probably my most pointless post to date. The conclusion of which is that I shouldn't be-husband gay men or womanisers.