It was HOW big?!

You need never wonder again with these tremendous tape measure shoes. Actually, you'll be forever wondering because some foo' at Irregular Choice twisted up the tape measure to make a pretty rosette so you ain't goin' be measuring nuffink with it! Aw, but they're so pretty you won't care.

I love these shoes. And I thought it was time to get back to the shoes challenge. For those who don't know (HELLO new readers - man am I excited to see you all - I logged in to do this post and my numbers have gone triple. I'd write this if nobody read it but that fact that people do heartens me no end! THANK YOU!), I'm aiming to wear all of my hundred-ish pair of shoes over the course of a year. The year's up in August and this lil' Irregular Choice pair, from Schuh circa 2004-ish, are pair # 56. Observe the thoroughly munched heel that I've caught between numerous kerbs, paving stones and cobbles around Edinburgh. Damn the kerbs, paving stones and cobbles. DAMN ALL THE KERBS, PAVING STONES AND COBBLES who've ruined my shoes! Sorry - got a bit carried away there. And damn the stupid car park at work too which does wicked and evil work on the toes of shoes too. See left toe below.

I tell thee, it's tough keeping your shoes in decent condition when there are evil cobbles and car parks lurking, waiting to munch fook out of them.

Anyhoo, the point is that, pavement munchery or no pavement munchery, I love these shoes. I have a general rule that heels are high or they're, er not, i.e. I don't do mid or kitten heels. I love a leg lengthening, giant, height giving heel and I appreciate the comfort of a flat once in a while but in-betweenies are just a no go. However, for these pretty little things, I made an exception. They have a delightful almond-esque toe, pretty red trim and the aforementioned rosette embellished with a teeny little red jewel. Adorable. What's not to love?

Now, before you hit the next picture I must issue a warning. It's a mad eye warning. Yup, yet again, the red eye remover thing's made me look well mental. Either that or the exorcism is beginning.

I decided to wear the shoes with something a wee bit girlie, a wee bit blokeish, hence the strapless dress with the lumberjack checked shirt. Oh and the big girlie ass belt. Please also excuse the crap hair. On account of now being a gym angel who goes to the gym ALL THE FREAKING TIME (I've just discovered body combat. I thought I knew what stupid looked like already. However, having now seen myself in the mirror flinging punches at an invisible adversary, I can confirm that I now know what stupid looks like.), I end up taking all my pictures post, post-gym shower when I have no make up on and my hair is crap. Bite me.

For those interested, the dress is Urban Outfitters, shirt Primarni and the belt is from Miss Selfridge. I love it because it's kitsch as a fuzzy rabbit snogging a Babycham fawn (OK, maybe not that kitsch), it makes my waist weeny and because it stops me reaching for a 3pm biscuit on account of its tightness. Winner! And, with that, I am off to bed! Night!

black and white and red all over (my necklace)

So much for "when I'm off between Christmas and New Year, I'll be catching up on my blog reading and I'll be writing loads of posts". Hmm, best laid plans. So whilst it is regrettable that I haven't got all caught up on that front, I have actually been having a lovely week of catching up with friends, catching up with the gym and drinking wine, on top of wine, on top of wine. Note to self - don't turn up drunk for a haircut - it's just not classy. Luckily I knew what I wanted and have an awesome hairdresser. Still, I'm a bit embarrassed.

Anyway, this post is all about back to business! The business of shoes! I am STILL almost constantly in my DMs (seriously, I am investing in another pair of docs this year so I can at least rotate if the weather goes down the shitter is unpleasant again next year). However, before the weather kicked in and kicked my shoe wearing challenge in the jaxi, I wore this little pair of pumps. Chanel-o! They're shoes #43 and are from schuh.

They're quite classic for me - I tend to be attracted to the glittery, patterned and colourful but I do enjoy a nice piece of monochrome (well, it's kind of cream rather than white but, stop splitting hairs will you?!) on occasion. Plus, these have patent on them, a cute bow and they were a bargain, as I recall.

dress: H&M, cardi: New Look, shoes: schuh, necklace: Lady Luck Rules OK

Uh-oh! Greasy fringe syndrome! I'd just finished a shift at Lush so was a bit wiped out by the time I took this. I may have mentioned before, but one of the things I enjoy about Lush is that the 'uniform' is just your wee apron then black and white. So within the black and white restriction, you can wear anything and it's fun being creative inside that criteria. Plus, you can wear coloured accessories (jewellery, scarves, shoes, tights), so it's pretty endless really!

I love this dress! The skirt is just full enough (so often 50s style 'full skirted' dresses from the high street just don't have full enough skirts on them and they tend to cup an ample bum rather than skim it and accentuate the waist, so well done H&M!) and I like to think it's kinda flattering and a wee bit ladylike - get me! Plus, I'm always a sucker for a nice floral.

Lady Luck Rules OK officially did some of the most ace jewellery ever. Some of my favourites pieces came from them and I'm still sad that the company is no more. I like the fact that this necklace feels like the polar opposite of the demure, ladylike dress. By contrast, it's brightly coloured and the mirrored acrylic really catches the light. Yeah, it's awesome. And on that note, please do have an utterly swell New Year! Bye!

Nailed it?

Evening all. I thought I'd stop off here between watching last night's sky plussed Strictly and tonight's live show. And, whilst watching the show, I figured I'd paint my nails. They've been naked for ages and, what with all the glitter and sparkle on Strictly, they just felt all shabby and left out. And in the spirit of all that is ballroom and latin-a-licious, I decided to get carried away and stick some glittery hearts on the nails. Whatchoo think?

Honestly, at a glance they look cute but they really don't want to stick so I've jumped ship part way through and just gone for doing one hand. Anyhoo, if anyone has any suggestions for nail art for the cack handed, I'd sure love to hear them. Have a swell Sunday evening...

Wham bam, thank you ma'am!

So called because today's gonna have to be a quickie. Off to spend the night with my awesome friend, some Chinese food, some gin and the X-Factor (yes, I watch that shit. I can't help it. I don't vote though and I never buy the god awful music that comes out of it. Mind you, I did vote for Will Young and I do have a Girls Aloud album. What?!) and I have to shower and get out pronto!

Today I am wearing ugly clothes. I spent the morning swinging through the trees and being dragged through woodchip at Go Ape. I AM action woman. Seriously, I'm a ball hair away (apologies to those of a sensitive disposition. I nearly peed when I first heard that phrase and I've never tired of it. Technically, if you're being Scottish, it's a baw hair too) from jumping on a plane to Japan to compete in Ninja Warrior, so actionous am I! So, today's ugly clothes aside, let's look at something nicer I wore this week. Something which included pair of shoes # 24!

 

Believe it or not (and when I look at them sometimes, I really don't), they're from bargain emporium Matalan. Really. They were about 7 quid in the sale a year or so ago. They're purple faux suede with a faux snakeskin platform and conical heel. I love a conical heel, I love a platform and I'm a fan of purple too. So, really, an all round winner, innit?

 

And much like yesterday, we have an indoor and outdoor look to go with them - can I get an 'ooh!'!? You may have realised that I'm really rather digging my H&M aviator because here it is again. You may also be growing tired of the sight of the grey Urban Outfitters dress I have on AGAIN. What can I say, I don't have either a limitless wardrobe or budget. However, I think I'm gonna hop back on my sewing machine again soon and try knocking up some purdy little dresses.

And let's take it indoors:

 

 

And it's a slightly mental look again! Darn red eye! Anyway, underneath the jacket and dress, shaweeeeeee, we have black and pink heart print Uniqlo leggings (my tubby legs love their leggings) and a purple H&M  belt and cardi, plus my super cute ASOS, like-the-socks-you-wore-at-school ankle socks with frill. I love them. If your shoes are remotely loose though they rub a bugger at the heel! I learned this the hard way.And you better believe it's time for a close up!

 

 

My necklace was from eBay aaaaages ago when I was into quirky plastic necklaces. Sometimes, I feel the urge to whip back out one of those plastic necklaces. Time for zoom: 

 

Time to go wash people - over and out! Unless you have any worthwhile singstar suggestions for after the X-Factor. Dude, did you think a night of chat, X-Factor, Chinese and gin could POSSIBLY be complete without singstar. We're so gonna put those stage show brats to shame...uh-huh. Oh yeah. OK, I should stop. Now.

Ooh, little hearty socks!

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls (though I'd suggest this blog isn't really child friendly fodder - sarcasm and sweary words are not the recommended diet for little 'uns as I understand it), shoes # 22 from schuh by Irregular Choice. Look how nom, nom, nommy they are!

 

Ooh:
Sparkly!
Shiny!
Suedey!
Sequiny!
Sheer! (ok so that's the socks but who else is getting a total alliteration high here?)

And, getting back to non 's' words, they're totally shock inducing electric blue. Yes, I loves these shoes a LOT. I mean, will you LOOK at the heels!?

 

"Now", I hear you holler, "I thought she was yacking about socks in the title", so let's have a look at my nice little ASOS socks. I've been meaning to embrace the ankle sock for a while but was a bit tentative about trying it. While I'm fortunate not to be the possessor of cankles, I don't have, shall we say, the most fortunate legs in the office/house/blogosphere and I was a little afraid that they'd look a bit dodgy or draw the wrong sort of attention. However, as is often the case I said 'fuck it' and got some anyway. And I love this particular pair. Verging on 'barely black' pop sock territory they're saved because of the adorable little hearts on them and a slight ankle frill (which you can't see. It's there though, trust me. It's just a little shy). Anyway, here they are poking out of my lovely shoes. Aw!

 

So, when one's feet are so gloriously shod, what else should one wear? Judging by me, the expression of a grumpy person on the verge of falling asleep/dropping into a catatonic trance. Apologies folks, I'm a fairly cheery sort usually. And seriously, last week was a tiring one. Right now I'm sporting black bags big enough to fit both Olsen twins in so expect a few more glazed looks to come. Anyway, to the matter in hand - what I wore was:

Sequined H and M T shirt come dress

Gold lurex Toppers or Primarni cardi

black leggings

My amazing Lady Luck Rules OK Owl Necklace

 

For shame, there's so much crap in my hall.

 

Twit, twoo! Say goodnight to the shoes!

Behind enemy lines

Aha! You got me - I'm wearing Office shoes. You may or may not know, I work for another purveyor of shoes which, technically, makes Office an enemy. Grr! Who am I trying to kid - I'm a total shoe slut. I like it, I can afford it, I don't give a shit where it came from! And these cuties were only £15 in the sale so, really, I sorta robbed 'em.

So it's pair #17 in the big shoe wearing challenge. Making good headway. Here's what's good about these shoes:

Peep toe
Pink Metallic trim
Ginormous pink plastic heart
Star print

A-MA-ZING! I bought the other colourway first (for my wedding! You'll see them soon enough) then, bazing, £15 for these.

They're worn with:

Urban Outfitter's dress
Forever 21 tee
Star print Uniqlo leggings
Accessorize rainbow belt
And shit hair - yeah it looked wack that day.

Peep-a-licious!

That's all...