Life's rich tapestry

No, I haven't gotten all philosophical on you - I'm talking shoes. Well, really, what did you expect? And we start with sad news. A shoe death. Yes, I'm devastated to tell you that this pair of shoes, the object of much admiration, many kind comments and former feature of the right hand bar of this blog (they've come down because it's too sad to see them there now), have died.

Love a good Nora Batty ankle. Love it.

The upper is coming away from the platform on the inside edge of the right shoe. It's one of those that you could glue temporarily and hope for the best but that would probably come away again and if you tamper with this kinds thing it leaves you banjaxed for returning them. So they're headed back to Miss Selfridge and I shall wait patiently, most likely, for a refund. However, I'm crossing my fingers that there's a cheeky pair hidden in a warehouse just waiting to be sent to me! Urgh, I love those bloody shoes!

So, while they are no more, I did recently acquire a tapestry addition to my shoe wardrobe. These beasts, from ASOS:

I can normally be found on my back with my feet in the air. It would seem.

Yes, I know they won't be everyone's cup of tea but that's neither here nor there because they are very much mine! They are GIANT. So very, very tall. They make me about 6"1. I am basing this scientific measurement on the fact that I'm still smaller than Mr S in them but only by a whisker. A mere whisker! And he stands 6"2 fact fans. Truth be told, I did like the Miss S's better but these guys feel edgy and, being on the cusp of 30 [oh, I know I barely look a day over 21 ;-)], I need some edge in my life. Some rock 'n' roll. And if tottering about doing one's best to balance and having almost completely numb feet all day, in the name of fashion, ain't a teeny dose of rock n roll, I'll eat a pair of sensible shoes. Here I am posing in them:

boots: ASOS, t-dress: Uniqlo, Shirt: H&M, necklace: Godiva

Look how I'm artfully showing off the wedge. You should probably expect to see more of this shit soon.

Here's a closer look at my lovely nautical but nice necklace. Cos you need that in yo life...dontcha? I do love a bit of mirrored acrylic. *Sigh*

Update: My broken shoes arrived back with Miss S on the 12th. It's now the 24th and I've heard NOTHING! Crap-tastic! Those guys (in fact Arcadia generally) suck butt.

And done!

Yay! The dress I was making is now made! It didn't actually take all that long to do but was still fairly time consuming. I mean, fitting it around work, gym, a social life and (non existent) blogging, I managed to do it all in a couple of weeks. Here's the fabric:

A nice light white cotton is summery and who can resist little multicoloured love hearts? Not me! Plus, the dress is lined so (hopefully!), see through-ness shouldn't be a problem. It's not like I'm being photographed by pant seeking paps when I'm out and about anyway. Not yet.

Here's the fabric all laid out with pattern pinned on, ready for the chopping. This is the first time I've used this pattern and I find pattern and fabric cutting by far the most boring bit!

Aw, look at the sunlight streaming in my window!

Fabric chopped, it was time to set up my wee machine. My mum got my it for my birthday/Christmas a couple of years ago and it doesn't always get the workout it deserves, so it's been nice to have it back out again! As you can probably see, it's a John Lewis machine. I think it's maybe one up from their most basic ones and it has a few different stitches, it's easy to adjust stitch length, there's a button to make it reverse easily and it's easy to thread and whatnot. And, yes it was all sewn on that tiny ridiculous table!

And so to construction:

This would eventually become the skirt.

And these bits, gradually coming together, would become the top.

Skirt put together with lining on the outside. I did stitch some of the lining back to front (there's always one bit I mess up!) and had to unpick it and do it again. Luckily it was one long straight seam so didn't cause too much bother!

Here's the top all put together and just waiting to be attached to the skirt and have the zip added.

The pattern didn't have a collar on it - I just added that on. In retrospect it's a wee bit small but it's a learning curve, right? Now I know that I need to use a bigger piece if I want to do a collar again! The only other thing I'm not happy with is that the zip sits slightly funny in the bum region. However, I think this might be because the lining is slightly tight (darn thighs!). The skirt and top fit great which I'm really pleased about!

Here's the finished article:

I like that the back of the dress is a wee bit different - I didn't have the forethought to take a picture of it but the zip only goes from mid back down to bum height, then the top is closed either with a hook and eye or button. I went for a hook and eye for now because I was desperate for it to be finished but I thought about adding a non functioning button over it on the outside, just for show.

It's my first pleated skirt and I was pleasantly surprised by how easy the pleats were to do. If you've never done them, I recommend having a pencil (or tailor's chalk if you're dead fancy) and a ruler - it really helped me to get the sharp lines right - I slid the ruler right up against the crease I needed to make, folded the fabric over the top and ironed. I hemmed the dressed last night while drinking champagne (OK, maybe I'm a wee bit fancy. Or maybe I won it at work.) and watching 'Far From Heaven' and wishing I had the know how to make amazing 50s style dresses as seen on screen. Still, I'm happy that this is a good start! 

Here it is on. Ignore the flowery Keds, socks and leggings - they're just what I'm wearing kicking about today! This is my excited and surprised face.

Belt: Miss Selfridge

I can confirm that every little does indeed help.

I don't trust Tesco particularly. They're too big and powerful for my liking plus, on account of my Clubcard, they know stuff about me. Like the extent of my addiction to premium ice cream at discounted prices (extensive). Yes, I know I could just not have/use one but the coupons you get from them are pretty useful as they freakishly use your info to guess what you want to buy. And you can sometimes trade the coupons for better stuff than just straight up using them as Tesco vouchers. And that's what I did last week. I traded £20 of Tesco coupons (which just sit in a pile unused in my house) for £40 to spend on their clothes. By now, I'm hoping you know I love my fashion maths and this sum goes as follows: "Coupons I don't otherwise use that I got just by getting my normal shopping" + "bonus double value trade in" = practically free clothes! Yes! I say practically free as I had to put £3 toward these dresses and pay postage. Pushing. The. Boat. Out.

Dress no1 plus Uniqlo leggings and Mel shoes from Schuh.

Can you make out the cute bow on the waist. It's like a magic eye puzzle! Maybe, if you stare hard enough, you'll see a naked man or something. Maybe not.

Dress no2 with Miss Selfridge belt and Irregular Choice shoes.

Irregular Choice Elvis. Freakin' awesome. If you don't think so, then you know NOTHING.

Dress 1 would have been £25 in real money and dress 2 would have been £18. And I have to tell you, I'm pleasantly surprised by both! The first is lined and has netting under the skirt for fullness, which I didn't expect from supermarket clothes, and I love the cute floral print, waist bow and Peter Pan collar. The 2nd dress is slightly less posh but beautifully pleated and the style is a versatile as you could wish for a dress to be. And all for about six quid. Roger that. (Apollo 13 is on in the background!).

It was HOW big?!

You need never wonder again with these tremendous tape measure shoes. Actually, you'll be forever wondering because some foo' at Irregular Choice twisted up the tape measure to make a pretty rosette so you ain't goin' be measuring nuffink with it! Aw, but they're so pretty you won't care.

I love these shoes. And I thought it was time to get back to the shoes challenge. For those who don't know (HELLO new readers - man am I excited to see you all - I logged in to do this post and my numbers have gone triple. I'd write this if nobody read it but that fact that people do heartens me no end! THANK YOU!), I'm aiming to wear all of my hundred-ish pair of shoes over the course of a year. The year's up in August and this lil' Irregular Choice pair, from Schuh circa 2004-ish, are pair # 56. Observe the thoroughly munched heel that I've caught between numerous kerbs, paving stones and cobbles around Edinburgh. Damn the kerbs, paving stones and cobbles. DAMN ALL THE KERBS, PAVING STONES AND COBBLES who've ruined my shoes! Sorry - got a bit carried away there. And damn the stupid car park at work too which does wicked and evil work on the toes of shoes too. See left toe below.

I tell thee, it's tough keeping your shoes in decent condition when there are evil cobbles and car parks lurking, waiting to munch fook out of them.

Anyhoo, the point is that, pavement munchery or no pavement munchery, I love these shoes. I have a general rule that heels are high or they're, er not, i.e. I don't do mid or kitten heels. I love a leg lengthening, giant, height giving heel and I appreciate the comfort of a flat once in a while but in-betweenies are just a no go. However, for these pretty little things, I made an exception. They have a delightful almond-esque toe, pretty red trim and the aforementioned rosette embellished with a teeny little red jewel. Adorable. What's not to love?

Now, before you hit the next picture I must issue a warning. It's a mad eye warning. Yup, yet again, the red eye remover thing's made me look well mental. Either that or the exorcism is beginning.

I decided to wear the shoes with something a wee bit girlie, a wee bit blokeish, hence the strapless dress with the lumberjack checked shirt. Oh and the big girlie ass belt. Please also excuse the crap hair. On account of now being a gym angel who goes to the gym ALL THE FREAKING TIME (I've just discovered body combat. I thought I knew what stupid looked like already. However, having now seen myself in the mirror flinging punches at an invisible adversary, I can confirm that I now know what stupid looks like.), I end up taking all my pictures post, post-gym shower when I have no make up on and my hair is crap. Bite me.

For those interested, the dress is Urban Outfitters, shirt Primarni and the belt is from Miss Selfridge. I love it because it's kitsch as a fuzzy rabbit snogging a Babycham fawn (OK, maybe not that kitsch), it makes my waist weeny and because it stops me reaching for a 3pm biscuit on account of its tightness. Winner! And, with that, I am off to bed! Night!

"You look really pretty today"

Were the words that came out of Mr Scribbler's mouth this morning as we set off to work! He quickly followed it up with "not that you don't usually, it's just you really do today". Or something boyish like that. Bless him. To be fair, my dress had probably gone see through or something when he said it and I just hadn't realised. Kidding! He's a nice dude. By the time I took this picture though, I'd been to the gym and for a swim and was sans make up and the reason I'm mooching a big sexy hand on head pose is because my hair was at its Chuckle Brother best and I had to hold it down. Not cos I think I'm some kinda model all of a sudden. I'll be in a bikini pouting it up for you soon. Fnar.




dress: ASOS, cardi: Primark, leggings: Uniqlo, shoes: schuh

So what were the shoes at the bottom of the outfit that inspired Mr S's adoration?  You may well ask, as you can't really see them in the picture above. See they're black. I don't really do black shoes. Seriously, look back at my posts and you'll be lucky to find any. However, Schuh won me over with these ones. Why? Shiny. Patent. High heeled. Platform. Button. Bow. Polka dotty inside. Is that enough for you? They're getting to be a few years old wee bit vintage - they're circa around 2007, I think. And the probably-not-see-through-after-all dress is a wee ASOS number I got recently. It's a fine knit and is SO cosy! Plus, I'm loving all over Peter Pan collars right now and this one's just super cute.

Look at the cute round toe! Anyway, in case you're keeping up with my shoes wearing challenge, they're shoes # 45. I'll be hitting 50 before we know it! I'm thinking of doing a bit of a summary soon on what I've worn so far. Almost more for me than you, to be honest. I'm starting to forget what I have an haven't worn. Plus, part way through I realised I had some I was never gonna wear and I got rid of them. And on the other side of the coin, I've bought far too many a few new pairs since I started out too.

Here's a wee close up of my brooch. My lovely pal Bisto gave me it for my birthday - it came with a pretty little bird and a button too. It's from Miss Selfridge. Sadly it's not on site any more but they have a few other cute bits and bobs on there.

Time to head off. My colleagues and I are off to our on-maternity-leave colleague's house this evening and I'm hoping to get my first taste of Polish home-cooking.

Oh my goodness, I look like a proper fancy lady!

Check me out. I DO look all proper lady like! And I'm in shoes # 21 from Miss Selfridge (which judging by the reaction when I previewed them are VERY popular!). Plus, who thinks I could, like, totally be in a catalogue with all this awesome posing malarkey? I'm thinking this particular demented eye action says 'when I'm finished rocking a Nicole Richie worthy hand on hip* here I am SO going over there to smack a midget with my invisible baseball bat**'.

*I am aware that I have hips and Miss R does not

** No midgets were harmed in the writing of this blog or by me at any other time. Although a midget darn near did me a mischief when I watched R Kelly's Trapped in the Closet. If you have not seen it, watch it now!

Here's the thing - I love this look. It's elegant, it's girlie and it's completely figure flattering. So why don't I look like this every day? There are a few reasons:

• Some days I just can't do heels all day. If there's any semi serious amount of walking in my day I can't do it. It's a shock confession, I know, especially as I pass myself off as some kind of shoe princess. The fact is, sometimes I just need the flats. Or my thoroughly grubby used-to-be-white Converse. Oh yes, you'll see them all in good time.
• Often I run out of time to blow-dry my hair in the morning so instead of being all sweeping fringe it's just a messy quiff.
• I don't want to typecast myself as a retro dolly only. Whilst I love the look, sometimes I just wanna wear a too-tight-for-me t shirt dress and layer on a shit load of rock chick eyeliner!
• Sometimes I out and out can't be arsed and just want to fire on jeans and a t shirt! Although there's no harm wearing a pretty necklace too.
• And lastly, sometimes I just feel bloated and want to hide under a moo, moo. Sexy it ain't but it's the truth!

So here's what went into the mix that made this delicious little cupcake of a look (other than, of course, sugar and spice and all things nice):

Vintage reproduction dress, £30 from Judy's Affordable Vintage fair.

Tapestry shoes, £45, from Miss Selfridge

Floral cardi from Primark

Leopard Print scarf from Accessorize

Bow hairband, tights and gold heart necklace from my cupboard AKA I can't remember where they're from! I stopped wearing all my bow hairbands and general fascinator bits of action when I chopped off all my hair earlier this year but I just couldn't help feeling a big juicy bow with this look...I still think it looks a wee bit daft (like when people fire a bow on their bald baby's head to make sure everyone knows SHE'S A GIRL, ALRIGHT?! The baby invariably looks like a twat [yes I did just say that] but the parent doesn't get all insecure about their darling daughter looking 'boyish'. Get over it - it's a baby - they all look much the same for the first few months. I tell you though, what I really struggle with is the 'aw so cute noises' when it's an ugly howler of a baby. That's tough. Anyway, enough already.) but it's my head and I can do what I like with it.

Anyway, this post has gone on over long. Have a swell Sunday evening. I'm off to make some toast and watch X Factor!

new shoes, new shoes!

Hello! This pair of Miss Selfridge shoes isn't part of my shoe wearing challenge (wear all my 90 something pairs of shoes in the next year - any not worn are sold/donated). They will be eventually but, for now, they're NEW SHOES! Is it windy where you are this evening? It's blowing a frigging gale here. Anyway, here's a pic then I'll chat some more:

Oddly enough, I was having a conversation earlier about people who just post all their shit purchases on their blog (er, do we care if you bought spot cream and some feminine hygiene products?) and how shan* it is as a practise. However, I love these shoes and have been waiting for them for ages (I blogged about them over 2 months ago). I'd asked Miss S via Twitter and email when they were coming in but, so crap is their service, they never bother their backsides replying. If I didn't love these shoes so much, I'd have given them a swerve for their utter shitness. Here's another picture to peace me out and stem the flow of venom...aaaaah...


So what's to love? Well, they're made from a tapestry for starters. Very vintage chic and perfect for the winter florals trend - you may or may not have noticed that I love a print or two in an ensemble. They are also hiiiiiiigh with a big fat platform and delicate ladylike heel and cross foot strap. Oh, and they're a peep toe - toe nail painting cannot be put off any longer...


*shan is either a Scottish-ism or an Edinburgh-ism. Either way it means kind of crap. If something is shan it's a bit rubbish. If someone has been shanned on (e.g. that was really shan on Emma when Jane kissed Toby), it means they've been a bit harddone by or shat upon.

Does it matter if they make my feet, knees, calves and thighs hurt?

Well, does it? I vote for no, most of the time. However, I do have to limit the wearing of these shoes on account of aforementioned pains. They're lucky number 13 (13 is totally lucky in my book. I was born on Friday the 13th and I honestly don't think there's been a much luckier occurrence in the history of, well, history. Oh lighten up, I'm kidding. Still, 13 = good) in the great shoe wearing challenge and, look, look - they're soooooo pretty!


They're a wee Miss Selfridge purchase (good shoes, abysmal service. Reply within 24 hours my arse! Unless they're working on lunar time or something) and, on account of their weight, I totally tone up each and every time I wear them (can I just say at this point that Mr Scribbler is watching 28 weeks later and I've had to crank up i-tunes on my headphones because I CANNOT handle that shit. My nerves are actually up to high doe and I think I may be on the verge of a heart attack. Just think about pretty shoes, pretty shoes!!). Anyway, after that cinematic diversion, it's time to enjoy the shoes. Here's what I love about them:

• They're H-I-G-H! I'm 5"7 anyway and in these I come close to Mr Scribbler's 6"2.
• They have a lovely rounded point to the toe
• They're polka dotty
• They have a tremendous over sized bow on the toe (I'm a sucker for a bow. Before I chopped off my lovely long hair for my short do I loved nothing more than Blair Waldorf-ing it up in a hairband resplendent with over sized bow. They look kinda silly on me now, sadly)
• They have a platform. I LOVE a platform. And I ain't talkin' 'bout train stations.

So what did I wear with these lovely creations? I went simple with black leggings and a cute purple dress with fitted waist. Where did I get it, you ask? Ooh, I made it!! Uh-huh, I'm not just handy with the words! I dolled it up a bit with an assortment of brooches from Topshop, H&M, a vintage fair in NYC and an anniversary gift from Mr S. Speaking of Mr S, check out his handy shelf making skills to the left (to the left). He ain't just a pretty face.


Wow! Who knew the shoes would look just as good upside down!? Well, if you're gonna be kicking about with your feet in the air, you should do it in shoes that look good upside down...I'm just sayin'.
Time for some Ben and Jerry's.

Uh-huh, it's shoes number 2! 92 to go...

I did a bad. I got so excited by other stuff yesterday that I didn't post pair of shoes number 2 in my shoe based challenge. Bad, naughty! So here they are:

Dear Miss Selfridge, I'm here to gives thanks for these McFreakin' awesome shoes. Here's the credit roll:
Pink Suede
Concealed Platform
Chunky Heel (for quirk rather than tack)
Adorable black n white polka dot rosette
Peep Toe (right now anything that shows the leopard toes is a winner)

And here's the proof of me wearing them (if you didn't see me tottering around the office/streets of Edinburgh looking smug about my beautiful shoes). They're joined by uniqlo t dress and patterned leggings (I like these leggings cos they've got a bit more interest to them than plain black but they don't look entirely hideous on my chubby wee legs), gold lurex (have I ever mentioned that I LOVE lurex? Gift me with it and I'll love you...) cardi from either Toppers or Primarni, and a purdy pink perspex star necklace from Punky Pins. Once again, demonstrating my appreciation of the slouchy look. Can you tell I'm not an ironer?

I don't Bet-Lynch it!

So, me and Bet Lynch well pissed ourselves with glee when we heard that leopard print is the word on the lips and print on the backs of the fabulous amongst us this a/w. I'll be honest, I'm a wee bit torn - should I be glad to have a huge amount of the stuff to choose from, in the way that Alex James picked from groupies and models in Blur's heyday, or should I be miffed that everyone's wearing me and Bet's numero uno print of choice? Hmm, I think I'll go with the Alex option and pick up all I can - grrr!



Here's my pick of some of the new and coming soon leopard lovelies getting me salivating...

I L-O-V-E this hat that's on the accessories page of the Toppers website. Shame said retailer didn't think it was worth replying to lil ol' me when I tweeted to ask them when it'd be in...SHAME on you Topshop!

Now being, as Gok would put it, a juicy pear, I'm a little scared of jumpsuits. All too often if it fits on top, it's straining around my ample behind in a most unflattering fashion. However, this little lovely is wide legged (Gok would approve) and, therefore, may skim said glorious behind. I think I just talked myself into buying it...hello, Miss Selfridge, you got something I want!

These are my absolute must have boots for the season. They're due into schuh very soon and I officially cannot wait! They're Clarks and that's classic, innit? But they're also leopardy and hairy and there's my twist. I shall be watching the website in hot anticipation waiting for them to appear. Oh, can you just picture Richard Ashcroft in a pair of these...

It's a dress, it's leopard, it looks cosy, it'll look cute right through winter. What's not to love? Warehouse, if you're interested.
Ouch! These are amazing! Killer heel (I used to live in Middlesbrough and some guy was actually stabbed to death with a white stiletto. FACT - heels can actually be killer!), leopard (obv), stomping platform and perfectly sized peep toe. Topshop are selling these ones...

For now, it's over and out from Bet and I - we're off to the rovers for a bevvie. However, I'll be back with a run down of all the leopard print loveliness I already have that I'll be rocking/resurrecting this a/w!