Em(my), what were they thinking

So I settled down with a nice cup of Earl Grey for a look through the Emmy pictures. And I was distinctly underwhelmed. What a lot of so-so garb! Don't get me wrong, there were some alright dresses but nothing, NOTHING wow. Come on telly and film people - your job is to entertain!

One thing that did strike me was the awful-tastic Glee fashion misses (maybe that's why they withheld the awards...there can be no other reason cos Glee's awesome!). Ordinarily, I love a bit of Glee fashion (and in fairness Jenna Ushkowitz and Amber Riley's dresses were ok and the boys scrubbed up nicely) and Lea Michele is normally one of my absolute red carpet favourites. But at the Emmys, it was not to be so. Regard:

It makes her waist look tiny and she has a winning smile. And that's all I like. The fringe looks wonky, the necklace is old lady frumpy, the dress is SO shiny (in a 'get that lit match away from me' sorta way) and all that frilly crap at the bottom reminds me of those flamenco dolls other people got as gifts when their parents had been in Spain. I SO wanted one of those dolls. Maybe I'm just bitter. Love you Lea, do NOT love this look. Want a flamenco doll.

However, Lea is the better of this bad bunch. Turn your attention now, if you will, to Naya Rivera (that's one cracking name though):

Gay God. Gay god of shiny prossie fashion. This is a serious case of 'my eyes, my eyes!'. Because mine are close to bleeding after absorbing this ensemble. The gi-heusterous fake hair looking bun. The greasy looking wonky fringe. The SHINY (again - what's with that? Show me a spark and I'll show you a bonfire.) dress with vile poufy skirt and overly high split (the girl has cracking legs actually and on a different dress, a split this high might be acceptable). The fugly brooch. This dress says one thing to me: slutty bridesmaid. Next time, wear the cheerleader uniform...

And (almost) finally. Another alumni of the fashion 'do' column usually, Diana Agron has foofed it up this time.

Three words: Toilet Roll Holder. Aw but her hair and face look gorgeous!

And last but not least...Puck. Looking fiiiiiiiine as ever, but, dude, what's with the shiny suit?

After all that critique I'm going to go think sunny thoughts and pet a kitten or something.

Legs 11 - Call of the Wild

Sounds a bit like the title of some kind of cheesy porno. Tee, hee! (Actually that might not be a bad idea...)

Shoes #11 in the Great Shoe Wearing Challenge (ha, as if it's a challenge to have to wear shoes every day - who do I think I am?) are Clarks Originals from schuh. I first saw these shoes a few months back and from that moment until they arrived in store I coveted the ass off them. And then they were mine!!

I've always liked Clarks Originals (more so on yummy indie boys) but never really though they were 'me'. Someone at Clarks must've realised this and thought, 'what can we do to reel her in?' (because it's the sole aim of every company to have me like their stuff), at which point a creative genius said 'let's make a hairy leopard print desert boot'. And, thus I was won.

Here they are in all their hairy glory (I am so not averse to a pair of hairy shoes. Did you see the Louboutins with the 'tail'? I think they were maybe for Christopher Kane. Amazing. I'm also ok with a bald shoe as it goes)


As you may (if you've read this recently) or may not know, I've had a filthy, dirty, stinking cold of late and, as a result, I'm dressing for snuggly comfort, rather than for trying to look like a goddess of any sort. I'm also hiding my snot ridden, rudolph nosed face, not because I think I'm fabulous and you don't deserve to see my face but because I think I think you're fabulous and shouldn't be subjected to it. Therefore, the boot outfit runs as follows:

Awesome hairy leopard print boots: Clarks Originals at schuh, £79.99
T-dress: Uniqlo
Black leggings: oh, who the hell knows?
Gold Lurex cardi (which we all know I favour): either Topshop or Primark (I have one from each and I'm not sure which it is.)
Gold Lurex socks (oh yes you better believe it!): Can't remember actually - soz...
Beautiful gold mirrored horeshoe necklace: Lady Luck Rules ok

Final Thought: Will there be a bitchy uncomfortable vibe between Chezza and all the lady x-factor judges?

Double figures boys 'n' girls!

Yes indeed people, it's pair of shoes number 10 and they're by Irregular Choice (you might notice a theme emerge here over the course of this. I reckon around 20% of my collection is Irregular Choice. I'd do the maths but, really, who can be arsed?) from Branch309.co.uk. Crap name, good website! And, as I recall, they were a bit of a bargain.

I love these shoes because:

They're shiny and sparkly
With rainbow polka dots
And they're purple suede
And they're kind of a funny shape
Plus, you can totally walk in them! (useful as I was wearing them to work then a marketing festival event in town and planned to walk home. Well, this friggin' cold's keeping me out the gym and I feel like a lazy bastard!)

I decided to do 'lady' in these and went with a pretty star print navy dress I got ages ago in Primarni (don't you love that 'oh this old thing? Had it forever' feeling when stuff you've had for ages is suddenly back on trend again?), with a wee t-shirt underneath (from Forever 21. We SO need to get them over here. And, no, not just in London! Or Dublin, they're getting a big one). And the look is topped nicely, if I do say so myself, with a Lady Luck Rules owl necklace - one of my absolute favourite necklaces!

And topped with a gold lurex cardi. Obvs!

Lady Crush number 2...

Well, my 2nd blogged lady crush this week but I was having warm feelings for BNTM's angry Grace on Monday night too. Love her and her mad glasses. Should Mr Little-Scribbler start worrying????

Anyway, step up Jessica Alba who I couldn't bear for ages, then she fecked off, dropped a sprog and came back looking all lovely and with a shitting great sackload of 'mazin' outfits. I was loving all over her boink at Couture Fashion week and, would you believe it, she's only gone and grabbed me again. This dress is amazing!! I have a lovely Toppers handbag that could go incognito up against it and I have often wished I could turn said bag into a dress. Then Balmain went and did it, pumped up the shoulders and stuck Ms Alba inside it. All it needed was a discreet bangle and some Louboutins (er, what outfit doesn't?) and job's a good 'un.

Plus, all this awesomeness totally detracts from what sounds like being a terrible film...(soz)Loving your fashion work Jess.

It's hard to be witty when you're full of cold...

So I have the cold. Majorly. It's in my head and streaming out my eyes and nose in sneezy bursts and making my throat all irritated and tickly. And, as if to rub in how rough I feel, Beyonce has just slinked on t'telly looking all foxy and sweaty in a good my-perfume-will-make-you-hot sort of a way. The only fragrance I'll be applying this evening is FRIGGIN' OLBAS OIL! Seriously, I'm going to be such a mentholated snore machine that Mr Little-Scribbler will probably take refuge in the spare room. Anyway, you didn't come hear to hear about my woes. But my shoes on the other hand? Well that's just far more interesting.

So here's pair number 9 of 97 in my 'wear all my shoes in a year' challenge. And they're a delicious pair of Irregular Choice from schuh. I love these shoes. Two things I love, you may know if you've read this before, are leopard print and shiny things. These shoes are both. Plus they're high and have a glorious almond shaped toe and a bow on the back (I also love bows).



I wore them for a night of catching shows at the Edinburgh Festival and, yes, there were cocktails involved (and pints of cider but that sounds well less classy, innit?). Which is part of why I saw fit to wear them with a turquoise and gold brocade mini shift dress. Brocade, gold, shiny - YES! Oh, yes.

The dress is my River Island bargain and it was covered up with a gold lurex cardi (some might say too much - I say pile it on and, if in doubt, a lurex cardi ALWAYS works). Anyway, say cheese, it's posing time. Mossy's shitting it, I tell thee...

Barrymore-more-more!

My lady crush of the week this week is...Drew Barrymore (you didn't think this post was about Michael did you?). Even when she was with Fabrizio Moretti of the Strokes (my 2nd husband), I couldn't help but love her. She's glossy but not too glossy and she ain't afraid to rock a look.

I think it all dates back to when, early-mid 90s, she was pictured with over sized daisies in her hair. I found them impossibly cute - they appealed to the part of me that always wore glitter (even to school) and thought that more was definitely more when it came to the number of necklaces you could wear at once.

These days, unless it's little gold tokens, I tend to stick to one necklace at a time and I don't wear glitter every day (honestly, though, I'm always happy to have an excuse for glitter. I think I'm a closeted disco ball or something). And Drew's looking chicer and more polished than in the 90s (Who isn't? Come on, admit it - you had either Heather Shimmer by Rimmel or Avon Iced Champink lipstick too) too. I'm loving her recent appearances in a brocade/jacquard Marchesa dress, nodding to the a/w lady trend with a cinched waist, and her demure trousers with sequined top, platform shoes and grown out roots. And it's nice to see that even the a-list wear the same pair of shoes more than once sometimes!

Now, I'm not feeling this V Festival look (the trousers aren't flattering and I'm not a fringing girl. Tried it, looked like Tonto, dismissed it.) but you gotta love that the girl ain't afraid to stand out. However, I'm giving a 'woop' for the mere appearance of Drew at said festival amongst all the usual 'opening of an envelope' d-list, fame-whore, trampy, brit school brat, don't really give a shit about music types that are at all the festivals these days. Urgh, rant over. Drew, I salute you

Good girls give head...

Oh, will you drag your filthy mind out of the gutter? Urgh! This is NOT that kind of blog! My head's in the photo this time is all. I may be a little shy (no, really) but the headless thing just looked weird. So, ping, there it is - I do have a head.

And it's pair of shoes (from schuh) number 8 in the international shoe wearing challenge (dude, I wore flips flops in Turkey last week - this is totally international. And Turkey's also the reason for the lack of blog activity of late)! Worn today to the Edinburgh International Marketing Festival - ooh, lala! Tres interesting and informative day PLUS, they ply you with wine at lunch and cider after. Er, how is that conducive to learning? I'm not sure, but I like it. Might suggest free wine in the canteen at lunch time when I'm back in the office.

Anyhoo, the invite ma-jobby said 'casual dress' (ignored by all the suited and booted folk there - seriously people, relish the chance to bust out of your suited confines! And, no, Jon Snow style socks don't count. Only Jon Snow can pull that shit off) so I went with short grey jersey dress nipped in with navy and gold belt, cute little cardi, white tee, black leggings and some retro, circa-the-early-noughties schuh white pointy flower flats. So a/w ladylike, dontcha think?

Anyway, like big Madge says, 'strike a pose'. Look out BNTM...