Whatchoo mean my ankle's all Nora Batty?!

See that's the thing with tights - no matter what I do they go all Nora Batty at the ankle. And I find myself either nipping to the loo to hike them up or trying to discreetly tug them up under my desk. And, dear readers, I don't do discrete. My version of discreet pulling up involves hoiking and grunting and general inappropriate flashing - I tell thee - pretty it ain't!

Now here's the thing (well two things). I like to think that my tights don't look quite as criminal as poor old Nora, gawd bless 'er. However, unfortunately, due to Blogger being a GIANT DOUCHE, I can't update the one picture that shows my wrinkle-tastic ankle to its best effect. So you'll have to just take my word for it and assume I'm not trying to be coy or self deprecating. Douche. Anyway, at the bottom of my wrinkled ass tights are shoes #28. Irregular Choice from schuh:

 

 

Here's me kicking my feet at the ceiling for the sake of 'art'. Rest assured I wasn't doing anything raunchy at the time. Who wants to hear the second "Blogger's a douche" bummer? The only decent shot of the heels is on a picture Blogger won't load. Arrrgh!! And it's a sexy heel! They're brown kinda faux snake, a bit chunky and just have the most delicious curve to them. Yum! And I haven't even started on the fact that the shoes are leopard print...

 

 

Or that they have a ma-HOO-sive bow on them! LOOK AT IT. It's giant and filled with, er, brown foam. Ok, that's not exactly a selling point but at least the brown blends in and you're still left with a big solid leopard print bow. They're a treat. The other thing that's tricky to see is the gold metallic brogue detail trim around the top line. However, you are lucky enough to be able to see the snake trim around the featherline. Check it out - do you feel like you're totally learning technical shoe terms from me? I can hit you with more if you like...who's for a vamp, a counter or a shank? Woop, woop! Here's what I wore these totally beast-a-licious shoes with (MENTAL EYE ALERT!):

 

 

Yes, leopard was a print too few for me so I went for two bold floral prints on top. Floral trench from Primark, floral dress vintage reproduction from Judy's Affordable Vintage fair.

 

 

Sans coat, there's a leopard print Warehouse cardigan. It was one of those pieces I um-ed and aw-ed over for bloody ages (indecisive, me?) as it cost more than I normally spend on a cardi. But, what an investment. I've worn it about a million times to the point it's getting a bit threadbare in places. Do I care? Do I heck! I'll wear it til the arms fall off and even then I might sew them back on again. I'm also wearing my much loved Lady Luck Rules ok horseshoe necklace which has snapped in half and had a broken chain but, much like the cardigan, I am NOT giving this baby up. It's one of my most favourite necklaces ever so it's been tweezered and super glued back to life. You might be able to see it better if Blogger wasn't a DOUCHE and would upload the picture. 

 

Here's a picture of the dress fabric. Pretty! By the way, before I go watch Gossip Girl and get my freak on to Chuck, I have to share something. I've been shortlisted in the final 10 of a journalism competition with Cosmo and Wonderbra. There'll be some voting action in a week and I'll be sure to put the details here in the hope that someone thinks I'm worth voting for!! Eek!