Baking apple cake...

Gawd help everyone. I've been at the baking again. A couple of weeks ago, I went for scones. Blueberry and white chocolate chip. Just a basic scone recipe with fresh blueberries and white choc chips added instead of raisins. Mainly simple...

But for the fact that the blueberries explode a bit during cooking. I imagine them swelling up a bit like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:

This is what they looked like when they came out the oven. Carnage. But they pulled apart nicely and tasted great. Winner!

And so, following that success, I decide to venture back into the world of cake again. I mean, I've made my Christmas cake now (I'm writing this on the 23rd and it isn't decorated so I'm not showing it yet. Plus, it just looks like a big white blob anyway. It was made with loving care and much ginger gin liqueur though and will taste great) but this is a casual Sunday night "fuck, I need snacks for Christmas eve tomorrow at work and the weather was too shit to go out today and get anything" cake. The best kind by anyone's reckoning.

Being the top blogger that I am, I of course forgot to take pictures of any of the process. Here's what I got for you:

The basic loaf recipe came from the classic Be-Ro book. My mum had a Be-Ro book when I was wee and a few years ago she gave me my own. As ever though, I'm only vaguely working with the recipe. Partly because I never actually have all the ingredients that one might require, I usually have something else I want to add AND I have some misguided desire to try to be 'original' (in high school it was hippy skirts and fimo beads. Now it's fucking with cake recipes). So, today I had apples to use. This is what it looked like once I'd made the mix and taken it all out of the bowl:

But, prior to that, I stuck to the flour, butter/margarine and sugar bit of the recipe. So far so good. I flung some raisins in for good measure. And a crushed Wispa. Then I peeled and grated about 8 smallish apples. Apples grate so easily! I read something saying that one should squeeze out the apple juice and put apples in a cake as drained as possible. That sounded wasteful to me. I added some brown sugar to the grated apples and mixed them into the flour part, juiciness and all and, whadya know? I didn't need any milk cause the apples added enough moosh on their own! Yas! Little Scribbler baking VICTORY! And look:

Yeah it's a bit sunken but it looks pretty golden. As well you'll know from my previous baking exploits, one should always bake with a glass of wine. I won mine in the work Christmas raffle last week - score! It even tastes alright. I'm a big fan of alright tasting free wine. And, in even better news, the cake tastes good too! Yay! And, on account of all the bloody apples in it, I reckon it's verging on healthy. I'd wager, there's at least half of one of your 5-a-day in there. Gawd, I'm good.

I hope you're all having a very eff-ing Merry Christmas!

I baked again. It's a goodie.

I baked again. If you like the mystery of not knowing whether your goods will in fact ever bake and you enjoy poking at a goopy oven confection for hours, you're gonna love this. And more's the better if, once you finally give up on cooking, if you like continuing to poke at said goods, wondering if they'll ever be solid enough to cut up and if they'll taste any good. *SPOILER ALERT*!!!! The goods in this story do end up tasting not bad at all...

It all starts here:

Flour with mixed spices and a pinch of salt / lemon curd / sugar / eggs / white chocolate / meringue

I should probably have said - I was making lemon meringue blondies (I'm told white brownies are called blondies. I like to think of them as the MJ of the brownie world). There wasn't a recipe. It was just guess work. Hence the didn't-want-to-bake gloop.

Melt white chocolate / Stir in lemon curd / Stir in sugar

I used lemon curd in lieu of butter. What can I say? I'm an experimenter. I don't think it worked as such. Maybe if I used the lemon cheese (even the name of that gives me the boak) next time, it might work better. It just sounds more buttery and I don't think my lemon curd was buttery enough.

White wine. Nice New Zealand Sauv Blanc.

So, I'm guessing you're wondering: "where does white wine fit in?". Well, remember how I said that the lemon curd wasn't buttery enough. Well, it meant that the mixture was a wee bit lacking in lubrication. So, I decided to lubricate myself with a nice big cold glass of wine! WWKFD*? As if I'd waste good wine in baking! Who do you think I am?

Beat in the eggs /Add some vanilla essence. 

And the mixture is mooshy again. Lubed. Phew!

Pour half the mixture on a greased, lines pan / add broken up meringue

Yay! Hands up who LOVES it when the shit they're baking looks like a pan of SICK. Fill up the rest of the pan with the remaining mix. Watch as all the meringue floats to the top. You can almost hear the tiny pieces laughing out loud as if to say "We're not going to be restrained under this gloopy crap, bitch!". Bake for about a week** at about 170c. Poke occasionally. Poke it cause you need to keep drowning the damn meringue so it doesn't burn. Jaysus!

It looks totally fucking edible! Even under clingfilm.

So, there it is. This is mainly the edges of the, er, dish. The middle was still so squishy that I had to just stick it in a tub in the fridge. I came back to it later once it had gone hard and sticky and ate it with a fork. I'm a class act. Plus, how Cath Kidston is my dish? That's right, I can be a domestic goddess when it comes to presentation. Fnar.

*What Would Keith Floyd Do?

**obviously this is a wild exaggeration and if you bake for a week and burn your house down I shall a) not be held responsible and b) not worry about being held responsible as you'd clearly be far too stupid to do anything about pursuing me anyway.

F*&k me, I baked brownies!

Apologies if you're easily offended by 'language'. I'm afraid I enjoy a good swear, ladylike though it may not be. Not just for the sake of it, mind. It has to be for emphasis or out of genuine exclamation. And me baking, definitely warrants a swear. Just ask poor Mr Scribbler who really didn't bag himself the most domestic wife. And so: fuck me, I baked!

Not only did I bake but I baked what are probably the best tasting brownies I've ever had. Ah modesty...

The basic recipe came from this one on My Baking Addiction (has this chick baked every conceivable cake one could possibly hope for?). But, instead of doing the salty caramel filling (I actually did attempt a salty caramel brownie with my own recipe recently. It was pretty nice too), I filled it with curlywurlys and fresh raspberries. The curlies did sink to the bottom but it just gave a nice crispy caramel bottom. And the brownie did eventually need to be served in a bowl due to it's sheer gooiness. But lordy it tasted SO good!

First, melt the chocolate and butter until it's smooth then remove from the heat.

Allow to cool to room temperature then add SHITLOADS of egg, plus a little bit vanilla.

Fold in the flour gently (no beating or too much air gets in). I added some ginger and cinnamon into the flour, salt and cocoa powder (oh OK, I only had options in the cupboard so that's what went in, not cocoa) too, to add some spice.

Put a layer into a greased, lined pan. I probably need a square or rectangle baking tine but I only have a oval one. Ah well. THEN... 

It's curlywurly time!

On the layer of brownie mix, pile on the curlywurly and some fresh juicy rasps! Fruit = this shit is healthy*! Next, pile the rest of the brownie mix on top. Bake. For the time/temp fact, please do refer to the actual recipe. I deal in haphazard "ish"-es when it comes to baking times, temps and quantities and wouldn't want to foof up your confections.

When the brownie is done and cooled (in an ideal world. Being a baking pleb, I did this bit when it was fresh out the oven then had to fire the whole lot in the fridge.), melt some white chocolate...

...and drizzle it all over the top. Eat any excess chocolate with a spoon...and any edges that look they just want to fall off. Oh, for goodness sake, just friggin' dig in!

*On account of all the chocolate, sugar and butter, this is, in fact, NOT TRUE.

Herman the German

We once met a German called Herman when I was on holiday as a kid. Even back then I loved a good dose of wordplay so I found the moniker 'Herman the German' immensely satisfying. This post isn't about him (though if you're interested, he was dead tall and rocked a Speedo.), it's about a cake. Herman the German friendship cake. I'd never heard of such a thing until I was given a piece of the mixture from whence Herman springs. He was given to me by a lovely lady I met on jury duty (that's my most recent excuse for having not been hanging about here for, like, aaaaaaages) and, in a nutshell, he's like a chain letter but in cake form. You get given a bit of cake mix, which you add to for 8 days, split into 4, giving 3 parts of the mixture away to unsuspecting friends/eager bakers/ anyone you can find who reckons they can get another 3 folk to take a bit. You add some extra basics, some fruit, bake it and, voila, a fully formed Herman. Here's how it goes - be warned, this isn't one of those gloriously shot food posts. In fact, he doesn't look great most of the way through. Who cares though, right? Hopefully the words are painting a tiny picture and I can tell you that he tastes bloody lovely! Enjoy.

Mmm, non-descript cake mix.

Adding to the mix on day 4.

Masquerading as a giant jar of jam.

Warning, do NOT taste Herman raw. He is not a spoon-licking kinda cake. Who woulda thunk it with all that milk in him, sitting out for days. He's a bubbling bad-ass.

Herman split into 4, the rest of the ingredients are added, including apples and raisin. Fruit means he's totes healthy, innit?

I had so much cake mix, I had to bake two Hermans...

The Herman bits that got stuck in the cake tin. Perfect with ice cream on top! Yum!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Ladies and gents, I know you all think of me as being some busy little fox (and you think that's the reason for my slightly sporadic blogging last week) but, this weekend I was house-wifely! (In between parties and gin. Though drinking gin is a pretty house-wifely thing to do if you ask me. It's just that I'm still celebrating with it and not drowning my sorrows). I polished stuff, tidied up some other stuff and, gasp, I baked the Christmas cake! Yes I did. Apparently it's important to do it in advance to make sure you allow enough time for it to ferment and fester and for the Christmas magic to brew. Exciting times! Here's how the magic unfolded!

I'll be dousing it in amaretto sporadically until it's time to marzipan it. I can't buy marzipan in advance because I only eat it. I am lacking badly in, er, what's it called? Willpower!! And, yes, you better believe I licked the spatula!

And onto shoes # 32! 32! A higher number than there are days in any given month!

And it's this delightful pair of Irregular Choice shoes from schuh.

 

 

Here are some reasons why they are, in fact, awesome. They're green and that's a good colour. They're super soft lovely suede - really soft. They have a kinda funny shaped heel and I appreciate that detail. The toe is rounded but not round - very nice. And finally, yes you better believe I am loving all over that big enormous green and silver sequined flower. They've really considered the practical here, making the petals wire edged so you can easily shape them up/down/off the ground! I've had them ages and don't wear them that often but every time I do they feel like a revelation and I get a wee excited glamorous feeling in my feet.

 

I decided that the only way to wear these shoes was to embrace the floral theme in my Trollied Dolly dress and to keep it cutesy in my heart print leggings. Top it off with an Asda cardi (I know - it looks totally vintage! Well I think so. I shoulda thought to take a pic of the buttons too as they have tiny flower details on them - unusual for a cheap cardi. I've got so much wear out of this thing though - green lurex is surely another one of my essential neutrals) and a funny face and you are good to go.

For next time, I'm hoping my friend got a decent pic of my Halloween costume as shoes #33 are at the bottom of it and I needs proof!!

PS - Mr Scribbler actually did way more house work than me this weekend and he deserves credit for it. He really is tremendous.